Greetings to all you lovebirds out there đ
If youâve got a special someone in your life, hope you and your bank account are gearing up for some good olâ Valentineâs Day lovinâ next week . If that special someone is still finding their way to you, or if they already did and you fucking blew it, hope the ice cream, tears, and rom com re-runs are good to you. But for most of the single guys out there, hope you enjoy another typical Tuesday with a pointless cultural label where getting laid might be slightly easier.
As for me, I hope to spend Valentineâs Day VERY erotically â listening to that new Marilyn Manson record heâs hinted at (literally the opposite of coincidentally) releasing on that day. Itâs supposed to be called Say10. If that title doesnât strike a chord with you, slowly pronounce it out loud until it clicks. Donât worry, it took me an embarrassing amount of time to put two and two together, too.
So while you make the necessary preparations (read: purchases) for a drama-free and sex-filled Valentineâs Day, here are some thoughts on what the first month of 2017 had to offer music-wise! We’re off to a pretty good start if you ask me!
Forever â Code Orange
 The hottest act in Metalcore unleashed their third record this month to frenzied excitement. Me? Just a contrarian son of a bitch, I guess. I LIKE album â furious cuts like âRealâ, âSpyâ and the title track are bone-crushing rushes of adrenaline, and my biggest praise is the LPâs mindboggling variety, with âBleeding In the Blurâ bringing some melodic Post-Hardcore to the table and âUglyâ fusing together â90s Alt-Rock with gruff Hard Rock – but the barrage of not-so-special breakdowns does get tiresome and a couple cuts (âThe Mudâ, âHurt Goes Onâ) miss their mark. So yeah. Cool record but I didnât go head-over-heels for it like everybody else did. Here is a full review. RECOMMENDED
Vessels – Starset
 I went against the grain with this new Starset record too, the bandâs second. Vessels fuses together Electronic Music, Butt Rock, and some djent-y modern Metalcore for a sugar sweet but unfulfilling outing full of excessively angsty hooks, non-guitar riffs, and such a thick layer of production that itâs impossible to tell if a single thing is performed by a human being. Itâs unbelievably catchy at points, and I understand the appeal, but itâs not gonna be anything more than an occasional guilty pleasure for me. Here is a full review. NOT RECOMMENDED
Return of the Cool – Nick Grant
After stumbling across this Billboard article on Nick Grant last year, Return of the Cool quickly became one of my most anticipated debuts of 2017. With the momentum the 28-year-old Grant has behind him right now, I was ready to bear witness to the meteoric rise of Hip-Hopâs next breakout star – and most of all, I was ready to hear soul and lyricism reinstated in Southern Hip-Hop (not to say I dislike whatâs going on down there right now, but, I did grow up with ATLIENS as my bible). On Return of the Cool, the South Carolina native shows some promise and a bit of an old school flair, but the project disappointed the hell out of me. The painfully generic âBouncinââ couldâve been made by ANY of Grantâs contemporaries (Logic, J. Cole, Big Sean Kendrick, etc.). And despite references to icons like Lauryn Hill and Nas, Grant doesnât do much to uphold their standards with lines like âcurves driving me crazy, I need some counselingâ. NOT RECOMMENDED
The Search For Everything (Wave One) â John Mayer
 My fellow Pretentious Fairfield County, CT Douchebag is employing an adventurous and exciting release strategy for his seventh LP â heâs releasing four songs at a time in monthly âwavesâ. In the uncertain and uneasy free-for-all that is music promotion in 2017, Iâm so glad to see someone with Mayerâs clout try a different approach. As for the music on âWave Oneâ? Simply put, three out of four songs connected for me. Most notably, however, I was psyched to see Mayer take a break from the genre gymnastics of his last few releases and just pen some straight ahead, no frills Pop tunes. Here is a full review. RECOMMENDED
Machine Messiah â Sepultura
 Growing up, I thought all you had to know about Sepultura occurred in the less-than-4-hour combined run time of Beneath the Remains, Chaos A.D., Arise, and Roots. I still sorta feel that way, but I was curious to hear Machine Messiah, which is now the bandâs eighth (!) as Sepultura 2.0 since Derrick Green took over on vocals in 1997 (by comparison, they only made six LPs with Max Cavalera). So I felt behind.And I gotta say, Iâm impressed with this current incarnationâs mix of Thrash, Groove Metal, a bit of Extreme Metal,, and the most thrilling surprise, a symphonic element on tracks like âSworn Oathâ and âResistant Parasitesâ! Worth checking out if youâre like me and have only ever known âclassic Sepulturaâ. Here is a full review. RECOMMENDED
 Culture – Migos
Around 20 million people were watching the Golden Globes when, two weeks before the release of their sophomore album, Donald Glover unexpectedly shouted out the Migos during an acceptance speech (his PHENOMENAL tv show Atlanta took home two awards that night). And with Culture, itâs safe to say the Migos are seizing their moment in the sun. This LP is the EPITOME of the Atlanta-based trap sound: Quavo, Offset, and Takeoff hop on these knocking instrumentals (one of the best collections of trap beats I have ever heard) with colorful ad-libs, tons of charisma, and memorable refrains. I mean, how could you not just throw on a track like âT-Shirtâ or âCall Castingâ and vibe out? Historically , Iâm into Rap like this, so Iâm gonna need some more time with it, but Culture just might be an unexpected 2017 favorite. RECOMMENDED
Gods of Violence â Kreator
 On album number fourteen from the legendary German thrashers, they delivered a collection of powerhouse Metal anthems and did so without being restricted by that old school Thrash âleashâ that some of their veteran peers seem to be hindered by. As with its predecessor Phantom Antichrist, Gods of Violence draws on not just Thrash but Melodic Death Metal, streaks of classic NWOBHM, and a bit of lyrical inspiration from Viking Metal for a well-rounded listen. Here is a full review. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
I See You – The xx
The third LP from these British indie poppers is chalk full of seductive nocturnal vibes that range from slightly spacey (âA Violent Noiseâ) to hipster nightclub-y (âDangerousâ) to just plain heart-wrenching (âPerformance). While these guysâ music has never really âclickedâ with me, I actually found myself enjoying a good chunk of this album! Unfortunately, one thing that bugs me is how overwhelmingly seriously these guys take themselves â at times, they oversell their emotions in an almost histrionic fashion that leaves me feeling a bit drained, like Iâm not allowed to enjoy myself or something. Plus, Romy and Oliver just ARENâT the best singers from a technical standpoint. But itâs still a solid LP, definitely The xxâs best yet! RECOMMENDED
AFI (The Blood Album) – AFI
 Call it nostalgia, call it glass half full, call it âa retard who knows nothing about anythingâ like you all love to do on YouTube, but AFI fucking BROUGHT it this time around, in a way they havenât in over a decade! Iâm serious. âWhite Offeringsâ is PURE Sing the Sorrow (the bandâs landmark 2003 release – a childhood favorite of mine), while the sharp riffing in âHidden Knivesâ does the songâs title justice, and tracks like âPink Eyesâ and âSnow Catsâ have all the makings of hit songs (particularly the latter, with its irresistible call-and-response chorus). Iâm just shocked at how into this record I am. The Blood Album is the OGs sending the new bucks back to the drawing board. These songs completely justify my endless shit talking about all these wack ass âemoâ bands that are coming up on Warped Tour â this is what they should shoot for. A thoughtful melding of Punk, Post-Hardcore, and Hard Rock, The Blood Album proves that AFI still set the standard. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Migration – Bonobo
As easy on the ears as this record is, it DOES tend to drift to the background as you listen to it. The gentle, serene touch of âBreak Apartâ and the ambience of âGrainsâ are some of the most pleasant sounds youâre likely to hear from Electronic Music all year, but Migration is not the most outwardly engaging of listens. Of course, you could take that in whatever connotation youâd like! âCause I donât have any âcritiquesâ here â just my personal experience with this LP, which is that itâs a more passive listen than his early works like Dial âMâ for Monkey, which was my favorite album when I was sixteen. Donât get me wrong – thereâs a lot to like here, and itâs 100 percent worth a listen, but it hasnât gotten much repeated love from me. RECOMMENDED