Children of Bodom’s “Morrigan” Single

Maybe I am hungover. Maybe a night of uninspiring small talk and watered down gin-and-tonics has left me slightly cynical. But did one of my Mount Rushmore bands just disappoint me for the first time in my life? Did I just find out Santa Claus isn’t real?

Children of Bodom have undergone major stylistic changes with nearly every release in their career, leaving impossible-to-please metal fans cranky and disillusioned every step of the way. For almost half my life, I have vigorously defended this band, because to my ears, the quality has been incredibly consistent despite the variety of styles (head over to my Youtube channel for that rant). But, alas.

This new single is so fucking uninspiring that I might have to put my guitar down and go to law school. The riffs are boring, the solo is like a 30-second flatline, and the production just neuters the guitars. If I want overly-processed distorted guitars, I’m sure I have a copy of Nickelback’s Dark Horse laying around here somewhere. But this is metal. I need amps in the face. I need that raw, primal-instinct-triggering onslaught of rage that makes our music so beautiful and so unique. This song does nothing of the sort for me. This song makes me think of spooning my hypothetical wife 20 years into our marriage. All of this aside though, “Morrigan” does have a double bass-laden chorus that heavily compensates for the rest of the track. But for me, it still falls short of redemption.

Children of Bodom’s new album I Worship Chaos comes out October 2nd. Hopefully the complete vision is simply misrepresented by “Morrigan”. Or hopefully I will have found love and will be in a better mood.

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